1. |
Talking To Myself
03:13
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Where do you find yourself?
Are you made stronger by the loneliness?
Where has your time gone?
Are you thriving on your own?
Will you tell me if you’re content yet?
Do you find comfort in conviction?
Are you happy or just blinded?
Eyes closed to the world.
I’m the sum of my interests…
…so when i lose interest…
I only see a shell.
Why can’t i see myself?
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2. |
I'm Already Rotting
04:33
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(Poem)
I wish my body existed as smoke
No more betrayal with tears evoked
I would have no constant masking of eye
Elsewhere, life resides
Joy has died inside
The truth unveiled
Im rotting
Safety fails
Im rotting
The end of a revelation
Im rotting
The past is a nightmare you can’t kill
Im rotting.
I avert my gaze
I drown my eyes while looking away
The reflection of me, a disjointed display.
How many broken versions of my body do i see?
Alone with parasite thoughts
Why should dreams flourish
When the dreamer does not
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3. |
Hit & Run
03:08
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4. |
I Hate The Craving
04:10
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In my thoughts at the end of the night
Light a few alone, not feeling alright
My body is held together by spite and thats not nice
A part of me bitter cause your kiss was a bite
Anywhere now just leaves a bad taste
I can feel my happiness going to waste
Its a goddamn shame i cant feel my smile leaving my face
Discontentment, entering the room
With every interaction there's an underlying doom
isolation chokes me out
I check out
A ghost now
No hope now
I’m so alone now?
How do I reclaim time lost
How do I turn these thoughts of Impending time off
Corporeality is miserable
Living my life like others do sounds like bullshit...
...but maybe I'm just cynical.
Intrusive thoughts they're cyclical
self judgement i sloughed off was biblical
The sense of self left within me minuscule
Leaving past lost to lies
Had me feeling imbecile
Now I break. Now I take. Now i Wait
By morning’s death, I'm alone in the darkness
In my mind, I wander
The feeling of safety I had that you gave me makes leaving/living life harder
I'm numb now. My warmth has forsaken me
Help Me Help me Help me
I crave the open earth
This hatred feels rehearsed
Rotted artwork I create mirrors a corpse giving birth
I divulge in my delusions a bit restores my worth
I come to the conclusion what i get will be the worst
I taste, rising confusion in my need to be ignored
With every action broken.
Im distracted
I am scorned.
I’m Distraught.
Im forlorn.
I weather heavy storms.
In my mind, i am reborn
In my mind, I am yours.
I don't think I'm cut out for being on my own
I always seem to need the feel of someone else's bones under my own.
To feel at peace when alone…
What does that mean?
What does that mean for me?
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5. |
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6. |
Bad Vibe
00:59
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7. |
Not So Dead As All That
02:26
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Without you, I'm a monster
I hate who I become when I wander
Hardening my heart obscuring myself next
Missing existence a little more than i expect
Lifted past the clouds is how i want to be
I'm anchoring my aura to your energy
Goodnight eyes open half wide…
I'm alive I’m alive I'm alive I'm al-
I’ve.
Never been so happy.
The dark thoughts that bind me
the ones that i see are blinding
the memories of self that wont stay behind me
always seem to find me
They bite tear claw and they try to define me
The feeling reminds me
when my dreams turn to demons
Found that you helped
with your work in my lungs
I became my best self
look at me now in the mirror
You'll see the spark in my eyes
So much clearer
I looked for vice but within
I found healing
I studied myself
No more fear within feeling
They melt away with your high
with your blessings i don't just survive
I thrive
Without you, I'm a monster
I hate who i become when i wander
Hardening my heart obscuring myself next
Missing existence a little more than i expect
Lifted past the clouds is how i want to be
I'm anchoring my aura to your energy
Goodnight eyes open half wide…
I'm alive I’m alive I'm alive...
I'M ALIVE!
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neutralOneder Denton, Texas
Music is fun to make!
They/Them
Abolish ICE
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